


Odium

by memoriesofdarkness



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cock & Ball Torture, Gen, Genital Torture, Hatred, Nipple Torture, Psychological Horror, Psychopath, Read at Your Own Risk, Superiority Complex, This is totally crazy, Torture, Twisted, Violence, Violent Thoughts, torturing family members, twisted mentality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 05:37:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12524180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memoriesofdarkness/pseuds/memoriesofdarkness
Summary: Every single word, every single touch – they’re like poison to me! Slowly but surely killing me from the inside. Destroying the serenity I so desperately seek. But I’m not giving up. I’ll pay you all back. All the pain, all the sufferings that you’ve made me endure – I’ll give them back to you.I’ll survive. In my perfect world.Only then, I will truly live.





	Odium

**Author's Note:**

> Ah! After a long time wrote something other than fanfics. It's quite different from what I usually write. Actually, it's totally opposite of what I usually write.
> 
> WARNING: This shit is full of twisted thoughts and violent fantasies. Read at your own risk!

 

I hate humans.

Why, you ask? Because they are a nuisance to my solitude, a disturbance to the peace and quiet of nature. They are like virus; a defective species that only knows how to cause chaos and disorder. I look around myself and all I see is the result of their infection, like an ulcer contaminating the world around me. All I want is to live the way I desire, but that seems to be impossible unless this world is cleansed off of all humans. Because I wish to live in a world of tranquility, minding my own business, independent and unattached from everything and everyone. Is that too much to ask? But these malfunctioning and faulty creatures, they are the biggest threat to my perfect world. These vile monsters act based on emotions. They create unnecessary and complex relations and give them names. Family, parents, siblings, friends, lovers. Their emotions differ based on that relation, expectations arise, and so does responsibility. And then, they clash! I can almost _see_ how their threads of emotions get tangled with each other and cause havoc. This cobweb that they call feelings muddles with their brains, takes away their rationality. It makes them think all humans should interact. Where does this theory even come from? They talk unnecessarily, laugh at brainless and stupid tales they call jokes. See, like I said. Chaos and disorder.

Now you’ll say I’m a human being too. Yes, that’s true. But I am superior. Because I am free from the flaws the rest of you are cursed with. I am free of emotions and all the other anomalies they cause. I am composed and peaceful, calm and controlled. And my perfect world should be just like me. But you! You despicable beings are causing anarchy, in and out of me. And for the first time, I’m _feeling_ anything towards you all.

Hatred.

 

* * *

 

Do you see the young man walking towards me? That’s my younger brother. _The sibling._ I suppress my inner despair and force a smile. I’m supposed to, you know. And then, he starts talking. I see his mouth moving, forming sound waves that slowly destroy the serenity of my world. My eyes widen, desperate to save the remaining peace, and failing. Because the creature in front of me keeps making those pointless noises and I helplessly watch as my perfect world crumbles around me. Oh, have I told you? This is something I have to endure countless times, everyday! So what do I do to save my sanity? I lose myself in the world of fantasy. I notice my brother looking at me. He’s asked a question and waiting for me to answer. _Expectation_. I need to hurry, or I’m gonna lose my mind from all these pollution. So I act as the perfect older sibling that I am and proceed to answer, while my mind roams around freely – creating the perfect scenery, building my perfect world where I’m the savior.

 

_I look at my brother and wonder what to do first. I know. I take a needle and a thread. Then I sew those disgusting lips permanently. He struggles against me. I hold him down and concentrate. It’s a work of art. Well, it was supposed to be anyway. But his struggles turn it into a bloody mess. Stupid human. At least appreciate my creativity. There you go. One less mouth to sprout disorder._

_Now I pay attention to those eyes that look at me with admiration. I poke one with my fingernail, then push inside. It cracks like an eggshell, the fluid inside oozing out. My fingers are stained with blood and fluid, but that’s ok. It’s for the better of the world after all. I push all my fingers in and take out the cracked eyeball. Blood and pus flow down from the empty socket. He tries to scream. But the sewing prevents him from doing so. If anything, his lips get even more tattered. I see gaps and holes around the threads, his teeth stained with blood peeking from the inside. Huh! He just had to ruin it, didn’t he? Doesn’t matter. I’ll sew it again, properly. I proceed to take out the other eye. My heart screams with joy. Yes! I’m refining my world from rotten existences. I feel pure, elated._

_Cleansed._

My thoughts get cut off when I feel my brother pulling my hand. _Touch_. Another disgusting symptom of human contamination. I look at him questioningly, hiding my revulsion. I already know the answer though. Breakfast is ready and our parents are waiting for us to join. Who made this rule that humans need to form a family? And that family members must unite together during the act of digestion? What’s the point? So they can pollute the air more with their needless sounds and tangle up their emotional cobweb more than it already is? So they can touch each other to convey their love and care? So many redundant actions. They make my insides curl up and I suddenly lose my appetite. But I go down the stairs anyway.

I’m a perfect human in a world full of imperfection.

 

Meet _the parents_. The one sitting on the right and reading a newspaper is my father. He’s probably the only person whose contamination is on a tolerable level. No, scratch that. He may be a person with small words, which is a huge achievement for an imperfect human being, but the inside of his brain is more tangled than my mother or brother. There’s worry, tension, care, love, fear, responsibility – all mashed together into a pile of garbage. A trash ball that he carries inside every day, every second. Why take so many burdens? I guess he’s one of the lowly humans whose imperfection is way beyond the normal level. He makes me sick. More than my brother even.

But there’s one person that makes me utterly cringe with loathing and abhorrence. My mother. You can see her right beside my father, preparing our breakfast. Even though this woman is not as emotionally jumbled as her husband, she _is_ the core of infection. Mothers are the ones who spread this disease called humans, and they’re the ones who plant the seed of infection inside those humans. I should call myself lucky that I somehow saved myself from this virus. This woman’s mind is so full of love and care, it’s suffocating! It’s like every time she breathes out, the air around me becomes polluted with lethal germs. Every time I see her, I just… I just want to… _Make. Her. Pay_. For the infinite number of times she’s made me suffer. By showering her love and making my life hell. By touching and giving me hugs and kisses, and infecting my cells.

I sit down along with my brother in front of our parents. My father looks up from the newspaper and nods. Ah! Somehow this lowlife has more sense than his wife who is now smiling at us ridiculously as if her smile can cure any disease. Would she still smile if she knew what I feel like doing to ruin that disgusting face of hers, I wonder. Breakfast begins, and the woman begins her regular questionnaire. _Rituals and Conventions._ Fucking stupid. What could she possibly gain by knowing about my daily life? Or maybe I should tell her. Tell her how in my mind I plan to pay them all back some day. How I refine my plans every day, to make them more painful, more agonizing. _More satisfying_. So they understand how it’s like for me to live in their filthy world. But of course, I don’t talk unnecessarily. I’m trying my hardest to keep my perfect world spotless and organized. But these… these beasts! They’re making everything so fucking hard! I look down on my plate and start eating silently. The sound of chattering makes my head hurt, and I desperately search for an exit. And my mind provides me just the perfect scenario.

 

_I look at the knife beside my plate. It’s a dinner knife. You can’t possibly kill a human with it. But the fact that it’s not sharp enough makes it the perfect weapon for me. I look at my parents. My lips curl in anticipation of what’s to come. First, I need ropes. Can’t let them move around much when I start my artwork, right? I look to my right, where my brother sits. His lips sewed and bleeding. One of his eyes staring at me with horror, the other one bloody and empty. Oh yeah, I couldn’t take out the other eye last time. Well, tomorrow maybe. Now I need to pay attention to the creatures that gave me birth. I owe them, you see. So I get up from my seat, go to the kitchen to find some rope and return. I’ve already blocked the entrance, so they can’t escape even if they try._

_Now, time for my creation._

_I bind them to their chairs with the ropes. Who should I start with? Hmm… how about my father? Come, watch. You’ll love it! I think I’ll peel his skin with the knife. Let’s start with the forehead. Fun fact – the knife isn’t sharp. Which means I have to go back and forth with it multiple times before it finally tears through the skin. Nice and slow. Perfect, no? And here begins the screaming. Huh! I thought this guy was the quiet type. Looks like I was wrong. Fucking hell! Be grateful that I’m paying you back and shut the fuck up, filthy old man!!_

_He’s not gonna stop anytime soon, is he?_

_Tweezers. I need tweezers. Why? To pluck his teeth out of course. He’s screaming like a mad dog, and it’s hurting my ears. I search the toolbox inside one of the kitchen cabinets, and voila! Tweezers and scissors. My lucky day! I walk back to my canvas. He’s panting and… crying? Really?! And I thought I couldn’t get more irritated. Stop ruining my work, will you! I grip his face and I can see it in his eyes. Fear! What’s there to be afraid of? I’m just giving him back what he’s been giving me all these years. I force his mouth open with the knife. Hmm… which tooth should I pluck first? Well, they’re all the same. So I pick one randomly and grab it with the tweezers. Hold still, old man! And then, I pull it out! He chokes on the blood that rushes out. I take the tweezers in front of my eyes and examine my work. Not bad! Although there’s some flesh sticking to the tooth, not to mention it’s blood-stained. I continue my work of art and pull out all the teeth inside. Soon his mouth is filled with blood and torn pieces of his gum. Red liquid spills from his mouth and flows down his chin. His lips look like he’s wearing glossy lipstick. Huh! Now that’s a good sight._

_Oh! I almost forgot. I brought the scissors too. Time for that useless tongue to be cut off. Gah! I should’ve brought gloves. Anyway, can’t be helped now. I take his tongue out, hold it steady, then cut it off slowly. It feels like a piece of raw meat. My father starts making some kind of choking sound, like he’s about to throw up. It’s disgusting! The moment my scissors cut through, more blood starts gushing out. I watch with satisfaction. Once the whole thing is cut off, I take it out and throw it away. No need for it anymore. Ah! Now I can finally enjoy some quiet time._

_The sound of a female voice ruins it though. Guess I’d forgotten about my mother. So… what do I do with her? How about pulling out her nails? That should be fun!_

I’m dragged back to reality by my brother’s voice calling my name. Damn! I was just getting to the good part! Well, I guess my mother is saved, for now at least. No matter. I’ve got plenty of time to set up my plan. It needs to be perfect, you know. As excruciating as my life has been so far. They need to have a taste of how it feels like to be _me_!

Just wait a little longer.

 

* * *

 

School.

Another hell on earth. Have they even heard of the word ‘quiet’?! It’s just endless hours of talking and gossiping – the air is thick with their word vomit and useless emotional garbage – and I find it hard to breathe! So I plug in my earphones and stare at my phone. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not listening to music. That’s another pointless production of sound. I listen to real sounds – sounds that belong to the nature. Rainfall, snowstorm, birds chirping, wind blowing. This is what I call peaceful. My nerves finally calm down. I lean on my chair closing my eyes. Thinking that life isn’t so bad.

 

Wrong.

 

Suddenly someone pulls away my earphones, and I’m back in hell. It’s chaotic. The noise hits me hard, crawling through my ears and inside my head. I feel like someone is slowly poking my brain with needles. It’s unbearably painful. It makes me want to scream in anguish. To crawl out of the classroom, out of this infected area. To go somewhere far, where the air is breathable, where there is silence. Do you understand even a little now? What I have to endure every fucking day?! Do you realize why I want you all to disappear?

Be patient. I’ll do it soon.

I turn my head to see the person who snatched me away from my safe haven. This is the guy that sticks with me the whole time I spend in school. _The friend_. Apparently we’re in the same class. And somehow someone (who knows who) made it customary for friends to sit beside each other. Also, there’s an unwritten rule that you must stop your solo activities when that friend is present and both of you must engage in a mindless conversation. Talk about hell! Was this world designed to punish me?! You see, I’m the perfect friend here. So, I put my phone in my pocket along with the earphones, and turn around to face him. Now he’ll start talking and I’m gonna have to pretend to listen and care, even if the topic doesn’t interest me in any way. So what do I do? You already know, don’t you?

 

_I plug the earphones in his ears, then start playing a special music. It’s within the human hearing range, but the intensity is way too high for human ears to endure. I’ve been storing it just for this moment! He tries to take the earphones off, but I hold his hands down. The music must be hurting now, because he starts screaming and I see trails of blood trickling down from his ears. Hey, are you enjoying so far? Because I sure am!_

_I take the knife out of my pocket. Yes, the one I used to cut off my father’s tongue. The blood has dried off; splotches of dry blood and torn skin making it look disgusting. Disgusting weapon for disgusting creatures. I take out a lighter from my pocket and start heating up the steel. He watches me with panicked eyes. Oh! How I love that look! I put the lighter away when the knife becomes red with heat. I take it in front of his eyes, the tip pointing at his eyeball; and tell him to take his pants and boxers off. He tries to protest. Oh, I was hoping he would. Because now I get to push the knife a little forward so the tip touches his eyeball. You wouldn’t believe the sight! **It** **melts**! He jerks backward covering his eye with his palm, and screams in agony. I laugh. I asked nicely at first, didn’t I?_

_I watch as crimson and yellowish fluids seep through his fingers and trail down. He’s still screaming, his good eye wide with terror. I ask him to take off his clothes again, politely. And he’s shaking all over, but still, he complies this time. Using his free arm he gets out of his pants and boxers. I smile, and ask him to sit down. My knife has started to cool down, but thankfully it’s still hot enough for my next escapade. I kneel in front of him and push his legs apart, exposing his genitals. Have you got any idea yet where I’m going with this? It’s okay if you haven’t. I’ll show you!_

_I observe the knife. It’s still quite red. Perfect! I lower it down and press the steel to his left testicle. He cries out. I try to pull the knife away, but it’s stuck to the skin. I pull harder. His skin comes out with it. Hmm… should I have asked first which testicle to play with? Maybe that’s why he looks so hurt. Maybe he wanted the right one to be toasted? I say sorry as gently as possible. And for a moment he stops screaming, looking up at me with shock. But then I’m pushing the whole knife in his right testicle. It goes in from one side and comes out through another, stained with fresh blood. His body jerks violently and his scream gets so loud it’s a wonder his vocal cord is still functioning. I move the knife right and left, my eyes fixed on his face. Watching my art unravel. It feels so very satisfying…_

 

I realize my friend has stopped talking and asking me if I’m okay. I force a smile I’ve mastered to pull off perfectly, then turn my head away from him. My whole body is trembling with excitement, the thrill and pleasure of my recent fantasy still fresh in my mind. I look around myself. Everybody seems to have quieted down. I should be happy. But I’m not. Because this just means now that one person will enter the room and ruin everything all over again. Just like she does every fucking day. I look towards the door and my suspicion is confirmed. Here she comes. _The teacher_. A person authorized and even _paid_ to talk endlessly for the whole hour. Talking about things we can easily learn using the internet. We know it. They know it. But still, this freaking drama goes on.

Every. Single. Day.

The first time I had to experience it, I was in elementary school. It felt like my head was gonna explode from all the noise. More irritating, more intensified, more agonizing. I closed my eyes and hit my head on the desk repeatedly. Anything to keep the sound away. It was suffocating me, killing me, hurting my brain. They had to send me home that day. I tried to explain it to my parents. But they just ignored it, saying that I was being ‘difficult’. And I knew.

I have to survive alone. And for that I need to rebuild this rotten world.

Since then, every day in school had been a nightmare. Well, to be honest, almost every waking hour in my life has been nightmarish for me. But the classes somehow had a more intense effect. One single voice – resonating everywhere, bouncing in the walls and returning to hit me, destroying my carefully constructed world. It was too much. Too painful.

But I learned to endure. All for the moment when I’ll finally end my anguish. Once and for all.

So, like all times before, I immerse my mind into planning my perfect gift for her.

 

_She stands on the podium, her hands and feet strapped to the wall behind. She eyes me with fear. I smile encouragingly. I take my knife and tear her clothes apart, all of it. She squeezes her eyes shut. Yeah, as if cutting of your vision would help! Her body jerks as she desperately tries to free her hands and cover herself._

_Not gonna happen._

_I watch her. Seeing a naked woman is supposed to invoke some feelings in me, be it shame or embarrassment, or perhaps arousal. At least that’s the general idea possessed by humans. But I’m far too disgusted by this creature to feel anything else. This… this **beast**! That makes my life more miserable every day. I watch as her body trembles. And I find myself feeling excited; the idea of finally giving her a taste of my own sufferings sends adrenaline rush through my veins. My lips stretch in a wide grin, eyes sparkling with mirth._

_Her nipples are pink. Nipples and vagina are supposed to be the most sensitive areas in a woman’s body. I wonder if they’re sensitive to pain too. I walk over to the notice board and take out three pins. You know, the usual board pins. Then walk back towards her. I show her what I’ve brought. They’re all red. I take the first one to her left nipple, the tip touching the pink nub. She begs me to stop. Tear trails down her eyes; her nose is runny with snot. She’s filthy. I grimace in disgust and push the pin inside. She screams out in pain. Yeah, feel it! I push the pin until only the red plastic is out. I do the same for the right nipple, all the while ignoring her cries and pleas. I’m surprised to see that there’s no blood. But then, I look closely. And I see a kind of yellowish pus seeping out. It creates a yellow ring around the red pin. And it’s fucking revolting! I take a step back and admire my work. Then I notice there’s still another pin in my hand. Ah! Almost forgot. I step forward again. I place the tip of the pin right between her breasts and push just enough to let it break through the skin there. Then I drag it down to just above her belly button. I watch as it creates a long scar, and then droplets of blood seep out from that torn flesh. It looks like a long red string has been placed over her body. I keep watching her face as I slowly push the last pin all the way inside her body. She cries out, her body convulsing with pain. This time, blood comes out, trickling down her belly button and lower, fully completing the string._

_Now, time for some sewing._

_I take out my needle and thread, then kneel in front of her. Guess what I’m gonna do! I re-strap her legs so that they’re spread apart. I can smell her cunt. It smells like piss, and muck. The stench is too much for my nose, so I try breathing through my mouth. I clasp the folds of her pussy together, then push the needle through them. I’m gonna seal this stinking hole. She tries to break free again, her legs jolt violently. But I hold them still. Why is everyone so impatient to ruin my work? My brother already ruined one this morning, now this woman too!_

_I quickly sew the folds together, my fingers already soaked with blood. I wipe my hands on her thigh, then get up. Ah! I can breathe again. I take a look at her. Red pins sticking out of her mounds, string of blood decorating her chest and abdomen with another red pin above her navel, and then finally, the sealed cunt, dripping with blood. I can see the thread holding the folds close, stained red. I look up at her face. It’s wet with sweat, tears and snot. Her hair is a mess. She looks tired, although I’m the one who did all the work. How hypocritical!_

_I watch my masterpiece and feel myself getting excited. It’s my own creativity, my Magnum Opus that sends waves of pleasure shooting through my veins. This filthy monster… that I’ve now turned into a work of art. My breathing accelerates. I take off my clothes, then let my right hand travel lower…_

 

“She’s one hell of a slut!”

I turn my head to the side, trying to process what I just heard. Of course, it’s the friend speaking. His lips are curled into a mischievous smile while he keeps poking my arm. My hands are shaking; my face feels sticky with sweat. The aftermath of my daydream. I close my eyes and try to calm my breathing. Then look back at him. He’s pointing at the teacher and blabbering some more nonsense about what a juicy ass she has and how she purposefully tried to seduce some boys by showing her boobs. _Gossip_. Such a pathetic form of entertainment, spreading baseless rumors about others. And not only this, they’re stupid enough to even think that I am as rotten as them to be drowning in this kind of senseless activity.

Every single word, every single touch – they’re like poison to me! Slowly but surely killing me from the inside. Destroying the serenity I so desperately seek. But I’m not giving up. I’ll pay you all back. All the pain, all the sufferings that you’ve made me endure – I’ll give them back to you.

I’ll survive. In my perfect world.

Only then, I will truly _live_.

 

* * *

 

I close my eyes as strings of water droplets fall on my face and trail down my naked body. The day I finally fulfill my plan, I’ll take a shower just like this. My whole body will be covered in blood, none of it mine. Blood from all of you.

The sibling.

The parents.

The friend.

The teacher.

All red. All equally filthy.

 

The water will take all those filth away from me. And I’ll be cleansed. Both body and soul.

I won’t kill you though. I’m sure you’ve guessed that by now. After all, I did give you a glimpse of my plan. I never killed any of them, did I? What’s the point of killing? If all of you are gone, then who’ll see my perfect world? I do need an audience. You should consider yourself lucky, you know. Even though you all are making my life a living hell, I’m still honoring you. You’ll see, as a new world unravels in front of your eyes. And you’ll see how I make it perfect.

One little warning. Don’t try to ruin it. Then I won’t have any choice but to get rid of you.

You see, a perfect world only has room for the perfect beings. And you guys are anything but that. Don’t worry though. I’m gonna turn you into my masterpieces. Then you’ll all be beautiful. And perfect.

 

You understand, right? I’m just a normal human being. And just like any human, I need to survive. I could be anyone. Maybe living next to you, sitting beside you in school. Maybe I’m a student in your class. Maybe your sibling, or perhaps your very own child.

But I hate you.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Erm... so, how was it? And don't worry, even though I wrote something like that, I'm perfectly sane in mind XP  
> Thanks for reading!  
> 


End file.
